Yoga. Bikram yoga. Countless other exercise classes. Walking. Mindfulness courses. Psychic readings. Hypnosis. Taking to family and friends. Meditation apps. Self help books. Journaling. Prayer. Over the counter Kalms and Rescue Remedy. Chinese medicine. Acupuncture. Medication. CBT therapists. Psychologists. Psychiatrists. Two psych hospital admissions during pregnancy.
Above is a snapshot of me and my journey with anxiety. A part of me that I have never written about before. I know it sounds scary. As I’m typing I wonder how someone reading this would picture me? I have a feeling it wouldn’t be a pretty picture. Well let me tell you…I am not what I think you would imagine.
When I put my journey into writing and really sit back and reflect…I no longer see a helpless girl desperately looking for a cure. I see someone who isn’t giving up on herself. (This is something else new I’m working on…self-love!) If I do say so myself, I put up a STRONG flight.
There are no words I can find to describe anxiety and panic attacks. It’s crippling, lonely, can ruin the happiest of times and can lead to the darkest thoughts. But it doesn’t have to be lonely. Anyone who is reading this who can relate to any of my journey…every single one of us are warriors! The fact that we are still here and fighting is nothing short of amazing.
This blog is the start of something new. A time for me to open up for the first time, share experiences and hopefully bring hope. Yes I’ve been through all this but tonight I am sitting here, just having watched an episode Game Of Thrones, belly full of macaroni cheese and feeling happy. I have spent the day laughing with friends and our children. This evening I spent at home with my two favourite people…my husband and 9 month year old son.
I will not let anxiety define me and I would love to help you realise that it absolutely doesn’t define you either.
Nappies and wings 