Superpower

Living with anxiety since a young age, I always said my ‘superpower’ was to put on a face so that no one had a clue what I was going through. I could be falling apart into a million pieces going into work or meeting family and friends. I would take a deep breath in my car, look in the mirror, fix my makeup and head in.

You would find me to be the most confident person in the room. Chatting, laughing and cracking jokes, getting new people involved in conversation, first up on karaoke and so on.

Then my breaking point came…I was hospitalised. I disappeared for a long time. Everyone found out. Colleagues, family and friends. I have been told that people just couldn’t believe it.

What I used to describe as my ‘superpower’, in reflection, was a really unhealthy coping mechanism for my mental health. Pretending. Putting on a face. Momentarily it feels good but all it does is adds the the strain and exhausts you. Now my guard is down and people know the truth. It makes me feel vulnerable however it’s much MUCH healthier. I have had more honest conversations with people this year than I have in my entire life. I am not living a lie. It is good to talk. Once you open up, you wouldn’t believe the amount of people that can relate and open up too.

So for a while I thought I’d lost my superwoman cape. However now I think I deserve the cape more than ever. We are all superheroes fighting mental health daily and kicking its bum!!